I wrote this a month or so ago when I was in a much different headspace (I am cycling through depression right now). But I still want the same for this relationship.
****
I think about you all the time. After my first heartbreak I thought I’d never love anyone as much again. But this love makes that young love pale in comparison. This morning when I came home and saw you lying in our bed you looked so wrapped up and so small, so fragile. I thought: my whole world is somehow contained in that body. How can something so vast and so mysterious be in something so ordinary-seeming as flesh and blood? But there you are, your eyes like oceans I could fall into and drift in forever, your hair like a forest my fingers get blissfully lost in. The hills, valleys, caves and cliffs of your body. I could wander forever.
I’ve never really been happy before. Oh, maybe some fleeting pleasure. But I’ve never been able to be “patient, kind, balanced, fine.” Not fully, as you know. But I’ve learned so much. I’m starting to trust you and myself more. I understand now there are things we can’t give each other. But now I want to know how we can help each other find them.
Let’s stay happy together. Let’s listen to each other. Let’s be patient. I want to make this last forever. I want to beat the odds with you.
My Name Is Trinity 