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A Combination of Characteristics That Might Make Me Fall In Love With a Man (Speaking As a Lesbian)

  1. Caucasian looks 
  2. Cooking skills
  3. Non-judgmental, practical Christianity
  4. A good perfume, not overly masculine, such as Acca Kappa 
  5. Has piles of money
  6. Interested in literature, art and philosophy 
  7. Agrees with me on everything 
  8. Lets me go out with girls and doesn’t ask to watch 
  9. Fit and strong, but not overly muscular 
  10. Has a mental illness or mood disorder (but not a personality disorder)
  11. Doesn’t have uncomfortably warm skin 
  12. Has automobile, appliance and computer repair skills 
  13. Plays an extreme sport
  14. Can speak at least one romance language 
  15. Wants to have children 
  16. A practicing MD-JD (physician-lawyer)
  17. Expert masseur 
  18. Asexual

    In other words. Non-existent! And that is to answer “You haven’t met the right one yet.” If I ever find such a man, then they’d be right! If not, I am perfectly happy with my human and existent girlfriend. 

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