Anger / Cultural Lies / This Filipino Life

Why I’m Angry All the Time

You all don’t want to take care of yourselves because you don’t see the point of living long. You don’t see the point of living long because your lives are miserable and you wish they’d end hard and fast. I used to be like you for most of my life. I didn’t want to die, but I didn’t really want to live either. I’m not like you anymore.

“You like cats / dogs / fish / plants / children?” I love all things breathing. That includes humans. I love all of you because you are alive. I hate all of you because you make yourselves and each other miserable and destroy everything.

The opposite of a lie is not a different lie. The opposite of a lie is the truth. The opposite of “You’re a sucky writer” is not “You’re the most perfect writer in the world” but “You write about interesting topics, but you curse too much for your work to ever be accepted by a respectable publication.” (Also: The opposite of “You are a worthless fat pig” is not “You are the most beautiful girl ever” but “You eat too many cookies and not enough broccoli.”) Lies (insults and undeserved praise) obscure the truth; and knowing the truth is the only way to learn.

But you all don’t want the truth, do you? If you find out the truth it means you have to DO something about it, to grow and change, and it’s TOO HARD for you, isn’t it? Vegetables aren’t delicious, reading is boring, housework is for maids… I know, I know. Someday I’ll leave and I’ll never have to deal with you all again. I’ll throw food and money at you from a long way off. A long, long, long way off.

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