Feminist / sex / Some Advice

Why Women Need To Learn How To Give Themselves O’s

Alternative Titles:

  • Why You Should Masturbate As Soon As Possible
  • Why You Should Masturbate Every Day

1. You Will Stop Being So Irritated (With Me)  

Research has demonstrated the association between vaginal orgasm and better mental health. Some theories of psychotherapy assert a link between muscle blocks and disturbances of both character and sexual function. (Nicholas A., et. al, 2008).

Disturbances of character. Freaking DISTURBANCES of CHARACTER. Could it be that your bitchiness and inclination to gossip about other people and bite the head off anyone who looks at your boyfriend the wrong way is all because you don’t have enough orgasms? Trinity says yes.

(Note: I’ve been too often on the receiving end of gossip and jealousy from straight women, that’s why this part sounds so bitter.)

2. You Will Save Money and Eat Healthier

Instead of reaching for comfort food and making stupid purchases when you feel upset and need something to make you feel better NOW, have an orgasm TOTALLY FREE of charge and with no repercussions whatsoever.

3. Like, So Many Health Reasons, You Guys 

4. You Will Date Better People 

Having taken care of your sexual urges on your own, you’ll be much less tempted to have sex with people who aren’t right for you because your hormones won’t be screaming at you to have sex. You will be able to consider your choices with much more clarity.

Also, if you happen to meet someone who’s smoking hot, you won’t reek of desperation and insecurity because you will know that you are a sex goddess and you can make yourself come like no one can.

5. You Will Have Better Sex

It’s usually much harder for women to achieve orgasm than men, obviously. It’s sort of a complicated procedure, for most women. If you learn how to do it to yourself, then

a) you can teach your partner exactly how to do it to you and thus preclude weird, stupid guessing games where your partner feels pressured to make you orgasm, and you feel pressured to have an orgasm

b) you can accept that your vagina is one difficult customer and have sex for purely non-orgasmic pleasure

How-To to follow, maybe.

 

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