I. ON PORN: In my life I’ve met maybe two or three other women who say they like porn, but I’ve never met anyone who doesn’t like love scenes in movies. Who doesn’t want to watch two (or more?) beautiful people that they’re emotionally invested in getting it on? Imagine if, instead of lasting for only a few minutes at most, those love scenes just went on and on for your viewing / masturbating pleasure. “But Trinity,” you say (nobody calls me Trinity) “there isn’t any porn like that.” Yes there is. You do have to wade through a sea of sticky, disgusting nonsense before you find it though. Obviously I can’t link to any, but Malena Morgan and Elle Alexandra’s work together is a good place to start.
II. GUYS SUCK: Guys suck so, so bad at sex. Otherwise, straight women wouldn’t treat it like a chore, and lesbians wouldn’t be orgasming left and right while straight women lie in bed next to their snoring partner, totally unfulfilled.
III. REASONS TO HAVE SEX: I’ve realized that there are only two reasons, ever, to have sex: For connection and pleasure. Sex can be used for many different things: As a bargaining tool, as a way to get closer to someone, as ego fulfillment, as a gift, an entreaty, etc. Some of these purposes may seem good, but ultimately would damage a healthy self-perception and perception of your partner. If you used sex to get closer to someone, and the whole thing goes south, you’ll regret it. But if you had sex with someone simply because you wanted to, whatever happens afterwards won’t cause you to regret it.
IV. PENETRATION: Penetration during arousal is the best thing ever. Penetration without arousal is the worst thing ever and will definitely hurt like hell. It’s not as simple as being wet / not wet because you can’t replicate pure animal lust and desire with a bottle of lube. Reasons for not getting aroused enough for penetration include: physiological reasons (like poor health or being on some medication that has decreased libido as a side effect); you’re trying to have straight sex but you’re actually gay; you’re trying to have gay sex but you’re actually straight; circumstances that are not conducive to arousal (such as playing human pretzels in the backseat of a tiny car); your partner isn’t your type; your partner doesn’t know how to touch you.