You are worthless, but not unworthy, and I will help you find worth. – Terry Pratchett, Unseen Academicals
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The word “guru” has been re-appropriated by everyone who wants to convince the world they’re an expert at something despite lacking any experience or tangible skill.
In just about any vocation where there isn’t a quantifiable metric for ability yet, you will find “gurus.” We would never call the Chief of Police a “Justice Guru” or a pediatrician a “Baby Guts Guru” because those jobs have qualifications in place to ensure that the people are actually experts. The word “guru” only emerges in fields without any oversight, like holistic healing, spirituality, and Twitter, because ultimately it doesn’t mean anything. – Soren Bowie for Cracked.com
Dammit! Who’s this beautiful woman and who made her cry! Bring me his head this instant!
Just kidding, I know you know who she is. I want to use this incident as an example of what things a person should or should not base their worth on.
There are only two criteria for personal attributes that a person should base their worth on:
- Is there a quantifiable metric for your ability?
- Is it valid anywhere in the world?
- It’s fine to base your worth on being hot, but not because of how people will perceive your appearance. It’s because people who are hot are usually healthy and strong. Standards of beauty change across place and time, but a healthy body is a healthy body anywhere. And you being able to run a 6-minute mile or bench 100 pounds would be an indisputable fact.
- It’s fine to base your worth on your education, but not because of the name of your college or university. It should be because of the tangible skills you actually picked up there, not because you managed to sweet-talk all your professors into passing you. A diploma from Ateneo means something different in the Philippines and in the UK, but the useful knowledge you picked up from Ateneo is useful knowledge anywhere. (If you picked up any useful knowledge, that is.) And you being able to solve problems with that knowledge would be an indisputable fact. The problems are either solved or not solved – there’s nothing subjective about that.
Okay now, back to the Beautiful Miss Colombia.
Miss Universe is a beauty pageant created and judged by fucking greaseballs like Donald Trump and Perez Hilton. Even if the judges were decent people, it’s completely impossible to objectively judge the beauty of a woman (trust me, I know).
Miss C. knows she’s beautiful. Her friends and family and probably her entire country thinks she’s the most beautiful woman in the universe. Why should she care if a couple of humanoid turds think that Pia Wurtzbach is more beautiful than her? (Beautiful = inside and out, yadda yadda I know). Every single one of those women’s supporters thinks that they’re the most beautiful woman in the universe. That’s fine. Beauty can never, never, never be judged objectively, especially in the context of competition.
She cares and she’s crushed because she based her worth on her beauty (probably from childhood). It would be a completely different thing if she joined, gave her best effort and lost, all without basing her worth on that contest – if she had something else to base her worth upon. Something not subjective.
I’m very invested in my looks. I’m rather vain about it, I would say. But there’s so much more to me than that, and I confirm that decision by the things I do. A girl could say all day “there’s so much more to me than how I look,” and yet half of her waking time is spent obsessing over clothes and makeup and the right selfie angle. Again, that’s the true decision a person makes – by the things they do, not the things they say.
Well, anyway, that’s why I do a lot of housework and masturbate a lot… At any given time, if anybody calls me and invites me out, I’d probably be in the middle of either. I want to be a housewife sex goddess. Yeah. Okay I’ll go now, I think I just undermined my whole thesis. Oh well.