Diary / sex

Note on My Heightened Sexuality As of Late

For most of my life, my period never affected me much either way. I secretly suspected that most other girls exaggerated the pain and the hormonal changes so that they would have an excuse to be dicks to everyone around them.

(It’s also possible that because I was miserable all the time, being on my period didn’t change much for me. However, since I’ve been quite cheerful and energetic as of late, I’m much more attuned now to negative fluctuations in my mood.)

Anyway, the menstruation gods saw fit to punish me for my secret arrogance and judgment of (what I thought were unnecessarily) bitchy girls. I had the worst period of my life last year, when I was in a mall and suddenly, little imps began cruelly twisting hot knives inside me, probably while laughing demonically to themselves. The pain radiated throughout my whole body. I turned pale, broke out in a cold sweat, and began dry-heaving while bent over (I didn’t have any food in my stomach, thankfully). I was brought to the employee infirmary, shivering with cold, nausea and pain. I took meds and got a hot-water bottle and napped for a while then I was fine. Afterwards, fear of dying led me to call and message my friends about how much I loved them, though I guess that’s not relevant.

As I’ve discovered lately, though, physical pain is only one of the cruel, inventive ways that the menstruation gods torture ladies for daring to have functional reproductive systems. I’ve also been having painful cramps and intense nausea lately, but since the incident last year this is nothing. The fresh hell that’s been visited upon me is an unrelenting horniness.

Most unluckily for me, I started feeling this way right before making my latest dating-site profile, so now I’ve presented myself to be a huge slut. It’s true that I have an inordinate sexual appetite, but perhaps not to the extent that my photo and info would suggest.

I got my period soon after, and I realized that was the reason why I’ve been feeling this way. I told my friend about it and she asked me why I wouldn’t just change it, then. I said that it would feel kind of fickle for me or maybe uncourageous in some way. Anyway, that’s staying up.

Other manifestations: I think of the desire coming off from [redacted] the last time we met and imagine her thinking of doing things to me. I’m sexually attracted to this character Regina* from the Dino Crisis 2 game that I play, who’s barely even 3-dimensional (it’s a very old game). I’d managed to get over my desire for [redacted] in the past several months, but it’s flared up again right now. I often recall how [redacted] would touch me anywhere and everywhere – in movie theaters, in cabs, in mall bathrooms, in her shared room while her roommate was trying to sleep. Insufferably rude, we were. It was horrible. It was wonderful.

*She’s described within the game as the only documented human to ever survive an encounter with a T-rex; she’s the only character to reprise her role from the first game, Dino Crisis 1; she moves much faster than the other character you’ll control in the game, and carries much better weapons; she has a powerful stance, broad shoulders, wide hips and small breasts (an extremely rare body type for female characters to have in video games); she wears a sexy yet functional outfit; she has red hair; she’s essentially compassionate but she makes a lot of barbed quips.


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