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Why I’ll Probably Never Become a Lawyer

me as a law student (probably)

prof: if there’s a lady disembarking from a plane via stairs on a rainy night while carrying a lot of baggage, and then a kid pushes her from behind, and she slips and grabs the dude in front of her, and they both slide down and break their bones, who is liable? a. the airline for not providing a chute for disembarking b. the lady’s fault for sneaking excess baggage plus umbrella on the plane c. the kid for pushing her d. the kid’s parents cause the kid is underage?

me: ma’am, have you maybe thought that by entertaining absurd cases like these, we as professionals are helping to perpetuate a crazy society where people have to sue the shit out of each other to get help, and no one has a sense of accountability for the strangers they hurt?

prof: …..this is the law building, the social work building is two blocks away. do you need directions? you’re obviously lost.

me: 😦 

this silly case highlights the true purpose of the legal system, to nitpick and assign blame. it was never about justice, never about making sure that people are treated fairly. you could try to be a good agent inside that system but you’d definitely be against the current.

p.s. my dad said in criminal law, “the first cause is the cause of everything” so its the kid, but that’s not helpful because kids don’t have any money

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