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hungry

Everything that a person will devote herself to begins with the feeling of lack. 

Sportscasters call successful athletes “hungry.”

A person starts wanting to learn a lot when she feels a lack of knowledge.

Sometimes I wake up at night and reach for someone who isn’t there.

Knowledge pours inside to fill the vacuum. My lover fits into the hollows of my body. Her head in the space between chest and chin, her hand in the dip of my waist, her legs wound around mine.

I know with deep and total certainty that I will be a good wife and mother because I hunger for a family. I want it so much that it hurts.

The feeling of lack never really stops. That’s what drives the devotion. The day I feel I’ve learned enough is the day I’ll stop learning. The day I feel that I see her enough is the day I’ll stop trying so hard to be with her.

The emptiness is there so that there will be space for the one who belongs there.

Sometimes I just cry but that’s about it.

I’ve waited this long, I can wait for longer.

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