I know you’ve been struggling with finding yourself outside a relationship. But I want you to know, I really believe you don’t need to be in a relationship. You don’t need to be with anyone in particular to feel you’ve got more to your life and yourself. You do have a lot going for you. You don’t have to try so hard. You shouldn’t look nor wait for it. I really don’t want you to struggle like that.
Being alone and never feeling lonely is like getting cut and not bleeding. It means you’re dead. When you feel no pain. When you feel no grief after a loss. Why am I being encouraged to be like that? I’m so glad I didn’t succeed.
I do need to be in a relationship. And with my girlfriend in particular. I looked for her. I waited for her. I struggled for her. I did all that because hardly anything that is good comes easily. I had to do all that because we both have emotional issues. I wanted to do all that because there is so much I want from her and so much I want to give her.
I’m not complete. And I won’t be until I have a wife and children.
Connection comes from the lacking… there is a hole in my heart. I kept it empty. I kept it empty for her. I left a space where we can build real love.
Instead of filling my mind with only thoughts of myself, my wants, the things I think are great about me, things I want to do and get.
There are huge hollows in me that I keep empty for the family I’ll have someday. I keep ’em airy, of course. The beds are made. I’m making the spaces better and better every day to get ready for when they move in.