Why Do People Do This To Themselves No. 1 (pt.2)

Since most of the kids who go to my school are either 1. incompetents who can’t be trusted to handle the complex process of paying tuition or 2. lazy asses who can’t conceive of volunteering for the responsibility, it’s mostly parents in line.

Let’s follow the path of a Mrs. B in the line, mother to a spoiled, lazy fuck who’s currently home playing video games.

In a corner of a stairwell is huddled a middle-aged woman, wrinkles just beginning in the corners of her eyes, gray strands barely visible in her dyed brown hair. You’ll notice that she’s wearing beautiful heeled shoes.

Mrs. B works in middle management making a middling amount of money which the family needs a lot. She has taken time off work to be here today. Ominous emails are piling up in her inbox as she sits in the hallway scrolling through FB.

Next door to school is a restaurant that is air-conditioned, ready to serve a variety of delicious, healthy meals, and is totally empty.


There is also a cafeteria downstairs, also air-conditioned, ready to serve a small variety of healthy meals which are unfortunately not delicious (ex. pinakbet, containing a vegetable so bitter that it got its own fable (Ang Alamat Ng Ampalaya)), plus the usual crap (tocino, maling, etc)


She is beginning to feel hungry, but she does not leave the line.

It inches along. Mrs. B’s number is 450. The number being served currently is 403.

After 2 hours, Mrs. B looks up from her scrolling and liking. She sees that the number being served is 430.

Mrs. B could check her email, do some work. Oh. But she can’t type reports on her phone, can she? Because she got the iPhone (P30,000) that’s good at taking pics of food and low-light club scenes, and not the LG Stylus (P10,990)¬† that could let her research, write and edit documents on the fly.

Maybe Mrs. B could walk around. Get some exercise, check out the facilities, see if her son is getting the P150,000 worth of tuition she’s shelling out yearly. (If she did, she’d find out that he definitely isn’t getting it.)

Except, oh no, she can’t. Her beautiful heels make it painful to walk for long periods of time. But they’re Nine West, see, and she got them marked down from P10,000 to a mere P6,000. All her friends were jealous. Mrs. B has such an eye for bargains.

So Mrs. B settles in for the duration. Scroll scroll scroll scroll like like like share like scroll share share.

When she finally stumbles out 4 hours later, she’s ravenous. She lost money for taking a half-day, so she should buy something cheap for lunch. Something cheap and quick.

She goes to Jollibee and buys a value meal. It’s crowded, sure, but she still gets her food in 5 minutes. She chokes it down in even less. Okay, hunger is sated. Time to go to work…

Why didn’t Mrs. B go to the Kenny Rogers 20 feet from Jollibee and buy a meal that has some actual nutritional value? Not everyone has as much money as you and can afford to eat at Kenny Rogers whenever they want. True, not everyone has my vast wealth, but Mrs. B does – she bought those shoes. They were on sale, how could she pass them up? (Hint: Just pass them up. It’s both easier and harder than you think, for a woman, at least.)

Okay but, Mrs. B doesn’t have time. If she bought a healthy meal she’d have to wait for it to be cooked. She did have time, but she wasted it. She spent it in line doing absolutely nothing of importance. She didn’t even derive pleasure from her endless scrolling, because she saw Mrs. A’s wonderful pictures from her 2nd honeymoon in Hawaii, why doesn’t Mr. B do anything like that for me, she thinks. Doesn’t he love me anymore? (When she gets home tonight she’ll pick a fight with him and he’ll have no idea what happened.)


Ps. the pinakbet and bangus in the cafeteria would’ve been quick, cheap and healthy (it’s already cooked) but of course it tastes terrible.


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