on break. typing this in the library. trying not to move too much because all the chairs here are so wobbly as to actually make me nauseated.
wrote this in class.
Q: How does prozac make you feel?
Have you ever watched a person in tremendous pain? A wound, cancer, a broken bone? Did you notice the fear and suffering in their eyes – or were they glazed over from bearing the pain for so long? Did you notice how they were held in their tense bodies, as if they wanted to leave them, and how seemed beyond caring about anything else?
When the painkiller kicks in, you’d see the peace enveloping their face. You’d see their tight chest breathe easy, their bodywould relax, and they would sleep safe and sound.
If you’ve ever seen that happen, and you had any compassion at all, you would wish for anyone in pain to be able to find that relief.
Pain is not any less real when no one else can see the wound. You could talk about the cause all you want, but informing a person, for example, that “You are in screaming agony because a bullet shot you in the chest,” will not make it hurt any less. Maybe the chemicals in my head are messing with me, maybe I had a shitty childhood, maybe I’m just too sensitive – whatever it is, sometimes I am in pain, and it makes the pain go away.
anyway, that’s how it feels. and i would not begrudge it to anyone.