More Life Lessons, or, I Am an Insufferable Know-It-All

  1. Sometimes you just aren’t enough: not smart enough for the school, not experienced enough the job, not talented enough for the part, not old enough for the girl, not wet enough for the wet t-shirt contest. It’s okay. Really, it is. You can and will be happy elsewhere.
Stefan Jönson

Not wet enough.

  1. If you’ve spent a lifetime hating yourself, and then decide not to, it’s okay to have a honeymoon period with yourself of being totally conceited. Just know that you can’t stay there forever unless you want to be unbearable to other human beings.
  2. Learn how to anchor prices; i.e. learn what goods are worth so you won’t buy absurdly priced things. You can do this by window shopping, asking around, reading reviews and getting painfully fleeced of your hard-earned money a couple of times.
  3. Never take your anger out on the people you love.
  4. Expecting sex to always be spontaneous in a long-term monogamous relationship is asking for the end of your sex life. Get over yourselves and schedule for sex, like the ridiculously responsible, sexy couple you are(n’t).
  5. People only see what you show them; don’t expect to be appreciated for the things you are theoretically capable of if no one ever sees it.
  6. Try as much as possible to have no secrets and tell no lies. It’s kind of exciting. It’s probably not a good idea, though.

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